Every year, whether it’s prom for the senior class or cotillion for the junior class, the annual dances in May create heavy anticipation for upperclassmen girls as the nights loom closer and closer. The hair, makeup, nails, and most importantly, the dress come to the forefront of many people’s minds.
There is a certain culture that surrounds dresses when it comes to events like these. The selection of a dress typically begins four to five months before the dance, and pictures of the chosen dress are then posted on a communal class Facebook page in order to claim it, and to ensure no duplicates show up on the big night.
Although this time in an upperclassman’s high school career is an exciting and special one, it is easy to allow airs of judgement, pressure, and external validation to overtake the positive attitude towards the night. While these are valid fears and it’s normal to feel some anxiety, the young women going to these dances need to remember one thing: what matters most while picking a dress on this special night isn’t the opinion of others, but that you feel beautiful and comfortable.
When the time comes for upperclassmen girls to choose their dresses, the pressure surrounding the choice makes the situation complicated, and multifaceted. Aspects such as the color, style, and price are what make this decision hard.
This process can be exciting for some, but for many it often comes with unspoken expectations that can make it feel less personal and more daunting. It feels as if once you choose your dress and post it on the communal Facebook account, all of a sudden you’re put in center stage. All sorts of things from the brand to how the dress fits on your body become details that are suddenly shining in the spotlight for all to see.
Among the things that make girls feel like they’re being judged is the style of their dress. 2000s and shimmery slip dresses are examples of what are popular today. Trends have the power to make someone feel either confident or uncomfortable, but only one is going to meet unspoken social expectations. Even if a dress is a girl’s dream, she may be steered away from it if it feels out of style.
The fit and the style are one aspect, the price and the brand are a whole other. Some of the most popular brands to purchase prom dresses from currently are Sherri Hill, Ashley Lauren, and Alyce Paris, all of which are high end brands with dresses having the potential to cost hundreds of dollars.
According to a poll conducted by the WA Ghostwriter, 45% of responders reported that when purchasing their dress they went over their budget. This statistic helps to demonstrate the amount of students who are going above their means in order to meet an expectation. It is unfair to those who can’t afford a dress of that price to feel like they may be judged for a dress that is a reasonable price for them.
“I went in [the dress store] with a budget that I really did not want to go over, and I ended up doubling it,” senior Jessie Tang said. “I spent way more than I actually should have [on] one day [and on] one dress.”
What only intensifies the pressure of these aspects of dress shopping is social media. As the special dresses being chosen for a special night are being displayed months before on all different platforms, an opportunity is left for likes, comments, and reactions from peers to make you second guess your choice before the event even arrives.
“I check the Facebook group every single day,” Tang said.
According to another poll conducted by the WA Ghostwriter, 56%, of responders have reported that when posting and displaying their dress online they feel anxiety about judgement from peers.
“I am nervous that I’m going to get judged, because my prom dress is a lot more simple than a lot of other people’s prom dresses,” senior Olivia Bernier said. “It has no beads or sparkles, and it definitely doesn’t match with what a lot of people are wearing.”
An underlying issue to all of this is the issue of body image. By the age of 13 about 53% of American girls report being “unhappy” with their bodies, a percentage that grows to approximately 78% by the age of 17. As certain styles of dresses become more popular, a perception can be created in which you may begin to think only a certain body type fits that certain style.
It is easy to fall into the rabbit hole of insecurity and wishing you looked different than the way you do now. Whether the dress is in trending style or something completely different, you must never fall into the trap of wearing what you think will be most flattering in the eyes of others as opposed to something you love. The fear of judgement and the opinions of others should never be given the power to take over such a memorable and exciting night of your high school experience.
In the end, when choosing your dress, makeup or hair, the choice may come down to either appealing to social validation, or internal confidence and comfort. It is crucial that you choose the latter. No matter what happens to be popular and trending or not when it comes time for you to select your dress, the only thing that needs to be taken into careful consideration is what protects your own individuality.
Instead of making a $500 purchase for something you won’t feel comfortable in, make an even greater purchase by investing in your own happiness; that is what will give your dress more value than money ever could.
