I’ve been trying to write something to help you avoid the mistakes I made in high school. Ideally, I’d give you a golden nugget of wisdom that would allow you to circumvent all the failure and sleep deprivation that awaits you, but the serial procrastinator in me has led me here: struggling to write something slightly meaningful at 1:30 in the morning. So I guess we’ll both have to settle for something a bit less straightforward. 

As someone who constantly sets unrealistic goals, I shouldn’t really be surprised that the past four years have not gone the way I expected them to. But I think part of maturing is realizing that almost nothing goes exactly as planned. 

One thing that I can’t really wrap my head around, however, is the number of times I have completely and utterly failed. And I’m not talking about the “B-, I’m never getting into Harvard” failing, I’m talking about the “D+ on my report card” failing. Don’t get me wrong, I also surpassed my own expectations a handful of times, but as I look back, I can’t help but linger on my failures.

And call me insane, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

My failures have always weighed more heavily on me than my accomplishments, but they have also shaped me as a person more than any award. Each and every one of those failures, and specifically the ways I reacted to them, remind me of my values as a person. Yes, I did question my intelligence and capabilities with every bad grade I received, but I never let them change the person that I wanted to be. 

I hope you know that failing to live up to the weight placed on your shoulders doesn’t make you any less smart or dedicated than the person sitting next to you. The important thing is that you continue to work towards the person you believe you can be. While those failures did make my life worse in certain ways, they also led me down new paths and interests that have made my life infinitely brighter.

I’m not going to lie and tell you that you can always overcome your failures. One big test will inevitably tank your GPA, an injury will completely wreck your months of training, and something inexplicable will always pop up just before that big project is due. And either directly or indirectly, all of that will impact the college you go to. But those defeats won’t completely destroy the plans you have for your life unless you let them.

I remember lying on the floor of my bedroom after my last day of freshman year, hoping that I wouldn’t make as many mistakes in my sophomore year. If you’re sitting in your bedroom wishing that same thing, I’ll tell you right now, you’ll probably make even more (I know I did). But I want you to remember that the only thing you can control, and the only thing that really matters, is how you pick yourself back up each time you misstep.

I do wish I could tell you a way to avoid the nights where you push yourself beyond the point of exhaustion, I wish I could tell how to avoid bombing that test and screwing up your GPA, I wish I could tell you how to avoid the struggles you’re going to encounter over your four years at WA, but I truly think you’ll end up appreciating them when you get through it. I really do.