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Freshman perspective: fear of failure

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Freshman perspective: fear of failure

Student hard at work

Student hard at work

Student hard at work

Student hard at work

Anushka Patil, Staff Writer

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Student hard at work

hen I think of the word “school,” I immediately think of anxiety and sleep. Those two ideas have circled around in my brain for the past semester of my ninth-grade year.

It isn’t the school part that gives me the most anxiety but it is the part in which I return home and have to cram all my homework into the limited time-frame I have. Honestly, most of my stress and ‘anxiety’ comes from the fact that, compared to eighth grade, ninth grade is tougher. When I compare what I used to do after school last year to what I do this year, I get upset. It should not be a surprise when I say that I miss eighth grade.

Along with homework, I have extracurriculars, including model UN, the WA Ghostwriter, Speech and Debate, and tennis. Adults have made it evident to me that I will need clubs and sports, with the big four, my GPA, to succeed.

Now, in the adults’ defense, it isn’t the pressure that they impose on me that makes me anxious, but actually the fear of failure that resides within. Five honors and two CPs. Constantly calculating GPA based on the certain grade I got on one test, in one class.

The constant fear of failure lying within me must know whether or not my GPA is good enough for getting into the honors classes that I feel I need to take next year in order to make my transcript stand out. With the idea of my college transcript in mind, it is supposedly necessary to engage in sports and activities that show that I am ‘well-rounded.’

The feeling of having an imperfect transcript is not my major fear. This major fear, that I do not know what is ahead of me, takes up a substantial amount of room in my brain.

I may be exaggerating my perception of failure. I don’t want it to seem as though I hate my life now, because that really isn’t the case. I am still young compared to the rest of the school. My anxiety probably has a role in the way I view failure. To me, when I calm myself down and really think about the tasks I have to complete, I realize that I can finish it fast. So, in the real scheme of things, my fear of failure is more directed toward the ‘perfect high school experience.’

I want to stay in touch with all of my friends. I want to be able to take all the classes that allow me to appear as a student who challenges herself. I want to have fun. I want to appear as someone who has no stress whatsoever. I haven’t had to sacrifice any of these desires yet. The constant fear of having to eventually compromise one of these things to uphold another is what makes me fear the idea of failure, due to the fact that compromise is inevitable.

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About the Writer
Anushka Patil, Staff Writer

My name is Anushka and I attend Westford Academy as a freshman. I take the journalism course at WA because I am interested in improving my abilities in...

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Freshman perspective: fear of failure