I have watched everything on Netflix. Well, not everything, but very close to it. I have rewatched series that I’ve watched thousands of times, and I am plain old bored after two months in quarantine. 

I have tried so hard to not be bored, though. I’ve invested my time in learning all the new things I can. I mastered morse code at two in the morning one day. I bought myself a skateboard off Amazon and figured out how to use it. I have reorganized my room too many times to count. I plan on learning sign language, how to whistle, and maybe even juggling.

Initially I loved quarantine. We all did. A break from school, and all the stress and anxiety that comes with it. But now, two months later, quarantine is a stress in itself. We all have so much time on our hands and it’s overwhelming. Do I want to do all of the DIY’s I saved on Pinterest? Of course I do. But instead I’ll be binge watching ‘Friends’ for the thousandth time, and feeling bad about it later, because I’m not being productive. 

That and the close quarters with your family, are overwhelming, but bearable. The one thing in my case that has not been bearable is that I can’t get my permit. Everything else I can live with, but not being able to get my permit on my sixteenth birthday has been killing me. I have been looking forward to driving since I was roughly eight years old, and now I keep getting told it’s being postponed.

Getting my permit and being able to drive, means everything to me. It means freedom. It means going where I want when I want to. It means not relying on others for help. It’s independence and it’s a privilege I wish to have. It’s terrifying being behind the drivers seat, but it’s also one step closer to life beyond high school.

We’ve all had our lives taken away and I’m now learning that I need to be in constant motion. I need to move, and just live.

The one thing that has been helping me through all of this is knowing that it’s temporary. Eventually, we’ll be let out of quarantine, and eventually I’ll get my permit. Life will likely be different after all this, but maybe we need different. Different can be good, if we just keep social distancing and allowing the world to reset.