As we get older, our definition of success changes, and so does our definition of failure. People hold themselves to different standards, and those standards change as we get older and face more challenges.

When I started high school, I had one goal: to have a solid foundation for my GPA. I had some extracurriculars on the side, but my grades were my number one priority. Failure and success, for me, in freshman, sophomore, and even junior year, was determined by my academic and extracurricular performance.

Now that I am a senior, my priorities have definitely changed. Yes, my grades and activities are still very important to me, but at this point, all my applications are submitted, my GPA is not going to experience any drastic changes, and there is no more pressure to do more outside of school. My fear of failure now concerns my life after high school, and college is just one aspect of it.

I am now asking myself questions such as “Did I choose the right major?”, “Will I fit in at college?”, or “Will I even get into college?” Throughout my life, from elementary school to middle school to high school, I have always been certain about where I would be the next school year, and not having that security this year is disconcerting.

What is even more terrifying is that after college, I will have to be completely independent. I will have to find my own house, work a full-time job, and manage my own finances.

When I was a freshman, the idea of applying to college and having a life outside Westford seemed surreal. Now, even though my applications are turned in and done, all I am afraid of is that I will do something wrong and ruin my future.

In general, up until now my worries consisted of what my GPA was, or how I did on that essay, or if there was a way to boost my grade in a class. As a senior, now I fear that my life as a whole is taking the incorrect direction. What I have learned is that no matter what, after overcoming a challenge, there will be another one, and that fear of failing is not going away anytime soon, because the future is never certain.